I Think You're Beautiful
by only.a.small.fish
Summary: All Snape wants to do is have some tea and go to bed, without thinking about Christmas at all. But, a face from his past arrives on his doorstep with other plans.


The calming silence was broken by a tiny pop, followed by a loud bang and the smashing of several bottles as the cauldron exploded. Severus Snape cursed loudly, waving the putrid green smoke out of his face and stumbling forward to assess the damage on his workbench. The small cauldron had melted entirely, the remains of its contents now seeping into the oozing mass of obliterated metal. He cursed again and used his wand to throw the hardening wreckage into the waste bin with a deafening clang.

"Blasted book!" he snarled. "Nine Grindylow eyes indeed!" He seized the book from where it lay open to a particularly tricky deafening potion. Glaring one last time at the text, he flung the book into the bin right after the disastrous toxic thing it had created.

The remaining mess was cleaned with an exaggerated swish of Severus' wand. Hardly satisfied with his now gleaming work room, he stomped up the short flight of steps leading to the main section of the house, slamming the door so forcefully behind him the entire building shook.

Covered from head to toe with green soot, he fumed through his narrow, dark house, directly up to the bathroom. Cranking on the shower with a gargled hiss, he shed his robes, throwing the soiled fabric in no particular direction. He clambered into the tub, yanking the curtain shut and stepping under the steady stream of water, letting out a bedraggled sigh as it hit his face.

Unfortunately, the green powder didn't wash off as easily as he'd expected. It seemed determined to become part of his skin. He scrubbed at it furiously, exerting all his pent up anger on himself mercilessly. Recently all of the experiments and potions he tried to brew ended up exactly like this one: hours of work disappearing with a bang in a puff of smoke. It was infuriating. He had half the mind to abandon potions and take up something mindless, like herbology.

He finally managed to calm himself, pressing his forehead against the slick, wet tile of the shower. He allowed the water run over his back, contemplating whether or not it was worth the bother to make himself some tea after he got out. However, his decision was made for him when the doorbell rang.

"For the love of..." he growled, shutting off the water angrily as his temper flared again. Wrenching open the damp curtain, he shoved his arms into the sleeves of his bathrobe and tied the belt harshly. Snatching a towel off the back of the bathroom door, he threw it onto his head and attempted to dry his hair hastily as he stormed down the stairs.

The second trill of the doorbell only angered him more, now approaching the closed door in a way that would be similar to a panther preparing to kill. His hand flew to the tarnished brass doorknob and he pulled open the door forcefully.

"If it's those muggles from the insurance company again I swear I'll..." He faltered to a stop upon seeing who it was.

Sirius Black leant casually against the dark wooden door frame of the last house at Spinner's End. He had certainly cleaned up considerably since the last time Severus had seen him and was wearing his muggle clothes exceedingly well. His beard was close cropped and shaven elegantly and his long brown curls were pulled back behind his ears, making him look particularly dashing, despite his slightly receding hairline.

"Merry Christmas, Snivellus."

The towel slid off the top of Snape's head, landing with a puff onto his shoulders and leaving his wet, mussed black hair exposed. He stood, gaping at Sirius for a moment before he could gather himself, but Sirius used his brief moment of surprise as an opportunity.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" he asked, scanning his eyes up and down Severus' robed body but not appearing sorry at all, despite how his voice sounded. His eyes lingered on the wet hair that was sticking to Snape's pale neck in little swirls. Severus caught his eyes and cleared his throat loudly.

"What are you doing here, Black?" he demanded, suddenly feeling very naked and awkwardly inclined to invite him in. Sirius blinked, shaking his gaze away from Severus' hair and met his intense glare.

"I'm here to wish you Merry Christmas," he said, reviving to his previously cheerful state. He pulled a small package from the leather bag slung over his shoulder and held it up for Snape to see. It was a square black box patterned with subtle velvet damask and tied shut with an emerald tulle ribbon. Severus blinked at it in surprise, taken aback slightly by such a kind gesture. He didn't have long to study it though, Sirius quickly returned it to his bag and began using his hands to create warmth, rubbing them together as he bounced on the balls of his feet, scrunching his neck into his shoulders.

"It's bloody cold out here, aren't you going to invite me in?" he inquired, looking past Severus longingly at the prospect of a warm hearth only steps away from him.

"You can just cast a hot air charm," Snape grumbled, but stepped aside to allow Sirius to stumble into the narrow hallway, stomping snow onto the tattered carpet . "Although, you shouldn't need it, what with all that hot air floating about your brain," he smirked. Sirius leant against the wall and began to pull off his boots and snorted.

"Still as vile as ever, I see," he teased, bending over to place his boots neatly against the wall. "Some things never change, do they Snivellus?"

Severus' eyes darkened, flashing with anger at the sound of his dreaded nickname. Sirius spotted the sudden change and immediately attempted to amend his mistake.

"I'm sorry!" he said hastily, "I'd thought you'd gotten over that, forgive me."

Snape swept past him, heading toward the staircase. He turned back once he reached the bottom step.

"I'm afraid it's too late to be forgiven for that," he sneered. Unfortunately, the jab he intended at Sirius didn't exactly meet his mark. On the contrary, Sirius seemed rather...distracted by something. Whatever it was, it was making him very flustered.

"S-Snape...your...robe..." he stammered awkwardly, averting his eyes and raising a nervous finger to point.

"What?" Severus asked. He looked down at himself and realized in horror that his robe wasn't entirely covering him. His cheeks flushing with embarrassment, he pulled the fluffy fabric of the bathrobe tightly about him. He coughed loudly, flinging some stray hair out of his face.

"Excuse me," he croaked, malice dripping from his gravelly voice. With his robe secure and his pride injured, he tried very hard not to run up the stairs.

Once he was safely alone in his bedroom, he resorted to violently punching his closet door instead of screaming.

Downstairs, Sirius jumped at the sudden thump as he was setting his satchel down next to his boots. He was tempted to go upstairs to see if Severus was alright, but decided that it would probably be wiser if he didn't. He highly doubted that Severus would want anything to do with him and would most likely have him along his way as soon as possible.

When he had managed to worm Severus' address out of Dumbledore, he had half expected the man to be living in a damp, dark mansion. He'd thought that 'Spinner's End' was the name of the house, certainly not the shabby muggle street that he apparated into. Hoping that he had perhaps read Dumbledore's message incorrectly, he refused to believe that the elegant professor lived behind the grungy black door he knocked on. That was, until Snape opened the door.

Now he stood awkwardly in the small foyer of the house and looked around, observing his surroundings.

Peeling wallpaper was hidden behind tall bookcases lined with rows of nameless, leather bound books. What appeared to be a weather beaten cloak and an umbrella hung on wooden pegs next to a moth-eaten scarf and an old black pea coat. Sandwiched between the edge of the bookcase and the bottom of the staircase was a small alcove filled almost entirely with a single table, tall and spindly and teetering to the left with a precariously heavy stack of papers on top of it. Sirius had taken a few lazy steps toward the papers, curious as to what they were when he heard the creak of old stairs and the soft thumping of footsteps. He immediately jumped back to where Snape had left him and clasped his hands behind his back, trying to look respectfully casual.

Snape's feet appeared on the steps, soon followed by the rest of his body, now clothed entirely in tight black robes. His face, Sirius noticed, was strained and still a little flustered as he arrived back on the ground floor and his gaze seemed very distracted. They stood opposite each other for nearly an entire minute before Sirius cleared his throat nervously.

"Um...I could leave your gift here," he said, gesturing to the small table. "Unless you want it now or..."

Severus eyed him warily, deciding if he should throw Sirius out or not. Eventually, his emotions kicked in before his mind could.

"We can discuss it over tea," he stated stiffly, stepping into the adjoining kitchen. He beckoned Sirius with a sharp flick of his hand. Sirius blinked in astonishment, but followed obediently into the shabby kitchen.

Contrary to how depressing the front hall had been, Severus' kitchen was actually quite quaint. Small, but clean and organized in the systematic cluttered style of any ordinary kitchen.

"Sit."

Sirius did as he was told, sliding into one of the two wooden chairs that sat about the round white table. He watched curiously as Severus began to go about making the two of them tea. He filled two cups with water which he boiled with a small swish of his wand and dropped a little brown tea bag into each. With the efficiency of his potion-trained hands, he swirled a splash of milk and cream into the steadily browning mixture. Then, much to Sirius' surprise, he pulled a small jar from the cupboard above him and stirred a gleaming spoonful of honey into one mug. He was about to do the same to the other cup, but then hesitated.

"Honey?" he asked without looking behind him.

"Yes please," Sirius replied.

Snape repeated the motion and put down the spoon, replacing the lid on the jar and putting it away. He took both cups in his hands and turned, only needing to walk a few steps in order to set them down on the small table. Sliding one across to Sirius, he seated himself across from the latter and looked down into his cup. Sirius took the cup with gratitude and lifted the porcelain to his lips. It seemed that the day was full of surprises as Sirius discovered that Snape drank vaguely floral tea.

"I would like to know the real intention of your visit," Severus said, not lifting his eyes from the tawny liquid. Sirius closed his fingers around the warm mug, watching Severus' damp hair slip from where it was tucked behind his ear.

"I said before," he said. "I wanted to wish you a merry christmas."

Snape scoffed. "Do you truly expect me to believe that?"

"Yes?" Sirius tried, not sure what kind of answer Snape was expecting. They became very quiet for a few moments, but Severus did not allow it to last long.

"That's all? There isn't...any other reason?" he asked, his voice sounding bizarrely unsure. Sirius was about to confirm his inquiry, but something inside his mind prodded him to tell the truth.

"Well...yes and no," he said finally. Snape tensed slightly and, unless Sirius was mistaken, seemed to hold his breath. When there was no response, Sirius continued.

"Truthfully…" he began, "I was concerned. The only times we ever have even the slightest chance to see each other is at Order meetings and you've been skipping quite a few lately." He watched as Severus' shoulders sank a little, still staring down into his cup. He hadn't the faintest idea as to why he was saying all of this, it was supposed to be private, but his mouth was betraying him.

"The few times I did see you, it was as if you were wasting away," Sirius explained. "You've always been moody and brooding, but you've been looking positively exhausted." He suddenly reached forward and touched Severus' hand, making the potions master jump and look up.

"I've been worried," Sirius stated. "I've never seen you so depressed."

Severus stared at him in astonishment, one of the rare times he had ever let emotion slip out from under his angry mask. Neither of them spoke for so long that Sirius nearly forgot everything he'd said.

"Veritaserum," Snape said suddenly. Sirius shook his head slightly, gathering himself.

"What?"

"Veritaserum," Snape repeated. "I put it in your tea."

Sirius' eyes widened in realization. He looked down at his cup and then back up at Severus.

"You did what?" he demanded incredulously. Snape pulled a small green vial from a pocket in his robes and placed it on the table between them.

"Don't get upset. I put some in mine too," he said, his voice strangely soft. Sirius watched in amazement as the potions master lifted his own cup to his mouth and drank.

"Why did you do that?" Sirius asked, dumbfounded by what had just happened in front of him. Severus Snape, opening himself like a book for anyone to read.

"It's only fair," Snape replied simply. "I wanted to hear the truth about why you came and, I suppose I also wanted you to hear the truth from me."

"The truth about what?" Sirius inquired, evidently curious now.

"My feelings toward you," Severus said dutifully. Now Sirius was entirely flabbergasted. What did he mean by that? The animagus was almost afraid to ask.

"Give that to me," he said suddenly, reaching across the table for Severus' cup. He tried to pull it away, but Sirius was too quick and soon had it in his grasp.

"How long does this stuff last for?" he asked, holding the cups far out of Snape's reach.

"Depending on the quantity of the dose. I only put a drop in each cup, so most likely only a few minutes longer."

Sirius nodded in understanding. "Then I'd better not ask you any questions for a little while then," he said, walking over to the sink and dumping the contents of both cups down the drain.

"There is an antidote," Snape supplied, not moving from his seat. Sirius placed the mugs on the counter hastily, nearly causing one of them to topple into the sink.

"There is?"

"Yes."

"Do you have it?"

"Yes."

Snape put his hand into the same pocket as before and extracted another small vial, this one thinner and smoother than its counterpart. Sirius barely took time to consider the dangers of drinking from an unmarked potion bottle before uncorking it swiftly and tipping a few drop down his throat. The tiny feeling in his brain that had been controlling his mouth dissipated immediately and he felt incredibly relieved, as if someone had removed an iron bar from his mind. He handed the tiny bottle to Severus who also took a small sip. He corked it quickly and it disappeared into his pocket once again, followed by the Veritaserum.

"Ugh, I hate using that potion," he said, a gruesome expression on his pale features.

"Why on earth did you use it then?" Sirius demanded. Snape stood and brushed past him, striding to the open doorway that led to the sitting room.

"I believe I already told you, Black," he said, turning back to smirk at him. "Now, didn't you have something to give me?"

Sirius stared at him for a moment, but then suddenly remembered the package in the satchel he had left in the front hall.

"Oh! Yes, wait a moment," he said, holding up a finger and making his way back into the thin corridor. He moved his boots out of the way and picked up his satchel, rooting around for the box and pulling it out triumphantly. He was about to put his things down again and return to the sitting room when Severus' coat caught his eye and sparked a genius idea in his brain. Smiling mischievously, he snatched it off the hook and slung it over his arm along with his own jacket.

"That took you an awfully long time," Snape commented as he entered the low-ceilinged sitting room. Sirius' eyes flew about him momentarily, assessing the room he had entered.

If there had been paint on the walls, Sirius doubted that it had seen light since the day it was applied. Every single possible amount of wall space was covered by books upon books upon books. The furniture was sparse, save for a sagging sofa and a beige armchair that had certainly seen better days which was currently being occupied by the one who had spoken the offense only moments ago.

"I got distracted," Sirius explained, tossing the coats onto one of the sofa's arms and plopping down with a sigh onto the sinking cushion. Severus' eyes flashed towards the garments that had just left Sirius' possession.

"Is that my coat?"

"Yes, don't ask questions."

"What are you doing wit-"

"I said not to ask questions. Here."

Sirius brandished the gift at its recipient who took it, reluctantly. Severus eyed the box with slight trepidation, tugging at the slithery green ribbon to release the bow.

"That would look nice in your hair," Sirius commented, nodding to Severus' dark locks. "Would you like me to tie it for you? I know how to do some excellent plaits." In response, he was thrown a glare so black, it frightened his last name. Sirius chuckled as Snape returned his attention to the gift, lifting the lid and pulling back the folds of tissue paper. His eyebrows raised slightly as he pulled a long green scarf from the box.

"Do you like it?" he asked hopefully. Snape tried to think of something sarcastic to say, but for once, he couldn't.

"I...I do…" he said finally, setting the box aside and taking the scarf in both hands. He ran the mossy green garment through his fingers, feeling the soft caress of the wool against his skin.

"Everything you wear is black...so I thought maybe some colour would look nice on you," Sirius explained almost shyly. Severus inspected the scarf in awe, admiring its simple beauty.

"Thank you," he said quietly. He lifted his gaze up to look at Sirius. "Really, thank you."

Sirius beamed, standing up and walking over to the man across from him. "Well, let's see you try it on then," he said, holding up Snape's coat. The potions master stood obediently and took his coat from Sirius' hands, swapping it for the scarf, slipping his arms into the sleeves and buttoning up the front swiftly with his long fingers. When he had finished, he took the scarf back from Sirius' waiting hands and draped it over his neck, nearly smiling at the soft feel of the yarn against his neck. As he tied the scarf around himself, he didn't notice when Sirius stepped closer to him bringing their bodies within centimeters of each other.

Satisfied with his work, Severus looked up and started when he discovered how close he was to Sirius.

"It looks good on you, Severus," Sirius said seductively, rolling Severus' name off his tongue like a cherry. He suddenly snaked his arm around Snape's waist and pulled the two of them together. Severus felt his breath hitch and he swallowed hastily to stifle it.

"I heard that."

There was a sudden jerk and Severus was pulled into nothingness, his brain pounding and his body being crushed into something solid that he wildly hoped was Sirius. The world spun around him and, for a brief moment, Severus thought he'd been knocked out, but when he wobbled backwards on solid ground, he realized that he'd simply apparated.

He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind, but he was still dizzy and stumbled. His meeting with the ground was halted by Sirius grabbing his waist and pulling him off the patch of ice on which they had landed. Severus fell blindly into Sirius' chest, but instantly pushed himself away when he finally came to his senses.

"What was that?!" he demanded, staring at Sirius with eyes wide with shock and anger.

"We apparated," Sirius replied, unperturbed by Snape's fury.

"I know that!" Severus fumed. "What I want to know is why." Sirius sighed and shook his head, chuckling.

"Look around you Severus!" he exclaimed throwing out his arm in a wide circle around them. Despite his anger at the infuriating man, Snape complied reluctantly.

When his eyes focused on the sight before him, Severus couldn't help but let his mouth fall open slightly. They were standing in the middle of an empty street, surrounded on all sides by a glowing haze of lights in every colour. Buildings and trees were weighed heavily with christmas lights and lanterns, blocking out the purple twilight sky.

"Where are we?" he asked,his anger dissolving into thin air. Sirius beamed and stepped back slightly, sinking into a low bow.

"Gothenburg my dear. Gothenburg, Sweden," he answered in a mocking voice. Severus' eyes widened.

"S-Sweden?" he asked, hoping for a correction. Perhaps he had heard wrong.

"Yes, Sweden," Sirius confirmed happily, gazing around himself proudly. Snape was about to say something, but didn't get the chance as Sirius seized his hand and began pulling him along.

Sirius pointed out every new thing they passed, praising each one for its beauty and commenting on how wonderful he thought it was. Despite his efforts to make Severus smile, the solemn professor refused to do anything but sulk.

"Oh come on, you can't hate all of them!" Sirius exclaimed. Snape shrugged, but Sirius was determined. "Find one that you like. Right now. Go."

Severus sighed, predicting that any form of protest would be futile, and proceeded to gaze about him. A small decoration caught his eye and he walked toward where it was wrapped around the branch of a small tree.

The decoration was simple, just white bulbs shaped like flowers. But for some reason, Severus felt particularly drawn to it.

"I suppose this one is nice," he mused, pointing it out to Sirius. The animagus grinned.

"I knew you had something hidden away in there," he teased, poking Severus' chest. "I just didn't realize it would be so sweet."

Before Severus could answer, he let out a long, contented sigh.

"What a beautiful place!" he cried, staring up at the overhanging branches of the glowing trees above them. He let go of Severus' hand and spun joyfully, throwing his arms up into the air. Severus watched as he beamed up at the sky, his cheeks flushed with the biting cold of the air and the blissful adrenaline that pulsed through his veins. Sirius dropped his gaze, looking back at Severus who was still standing in the spot he'd left him. With a tiny pout, he pranced over to where the other man stood, looking, for once, calm and at peace.

He came to stand next to Snape, fishing for his hand until he had it tightly in his grasp again. He noticed how the golden glow floating in the air smoothed the creases and lines in Severus' face, making him look youthful and happy for a fleeting moment. A tiny smile pulled at the corners of Sirius' mouth and he tugged slightly on Severus' hand, making him turn.

"You look very beautiful in this light," he said softly, stepping closer to Snape who shook his head, the ghost of a laugh escaping his lips.

"I may be many things," he said. "But beautiful is certainly not one of them."

Sirius' face was determined now, but he was moving it closer and closer to Severus'.

"I wouldn't be so sure…" he whispered, his their faces only inches away. Snape swallowed nervously and bit the inside of his lip.

"Sirius…" he said softly, feeling a sensation build up in his cheeks that he had not felt for over a decade.

"I wouldn't be sure at all…" Sirius murmured, pulling Snape into him, their noses brushing.

"I think you're beautiful."

Sirius leant forward, closing the tiny gap between their lips. Unexpectedly, Snape's lips were incredibly soft and Sirius took his time kissing them gently. It was small, slow and very careful, perhaps not the most calculated kiss in all of human history, but certainly amongst the sweetest.

Sirius moved gingerly, worried of offending the lips that kissed his own, but Severus' were hopeful, reassuring Sirius, that he too was beautiful; in their own quiet little way.

They locked eyes as they separated, Severus' lips lingering on Sirius' until he couldn't reach anymore.

"Why did you do that?" he whispered, his eyelashes brushing against Sirius' nose.

"I told you," Sirius breathed, touching Severus' flushed cheek.

"Because I think you're beautiful."


End file.
